I consider myself to be a tiny bit of a party girl. I love a good night club, house party or bar but my favorite vibes are lounges. Now that I am 27 and weaning out of my party girl stage, I thought it would be nice to pass the baton on to some younger fats. I've never been to a "Fat Girl Club” so my party girl experience is strictly based off of regular clubs, lounges and bars.
The reason why I’ve never been to a "BBW Bash" is because I don’t like the stigma surrounding them. Instead of the "Fat Girl Parties" being uplifting and great places to meet other fat people. They tend to be breeding a ground for men who fetishize big women.
I'm not saying I know all of the tips to partying while fat but I've gotten pulled off line and into reserved sections, on my most recent birthday I got a free vip section just by the way I was dressed and I've had my photograph appear on promoter websites which is really difficult to do when you don't look like the typical promoter girl. So below are some of my favorite tips and tricks to "Partying While Fat".
1. Dress Like it's Your Birthday!
As the Fat Girl it is your duty to be the baddest bitch in the room, always. I don't care whose birthday it is or who's bachelorette party you're attending, 9 times out of 10 you will be the biggest. Which means you are the most in the way, you will be seen the most, smelled the most, and starred at the most. So always be on point!! If you're the only fat in a group of average sized friends, understand you have to be a step above them. It's never a competition, but most promoters don't want us there because they assume stereotypical things about us. Represent for all us fats when you are out and about and always be the baddest.
For the girl who loves to be snatched
2. Heels Are a Must.
Make sure your heels are 3" plus! Do not show up to the club with a kitten heel. If heels aren't for you, stick to bars and select lounges. Most restaurants turn into clubs/lounges after 11pm, so arrive for dinner (dressed as you please) and stay for the party.
3. Don't Try to be Overly Sexy.
Truth of the matter is most promoters aren't checking for us so don't feel the need to be over the top like the other girls trying to get into vip. A big mistake I see all the time is big girls assuming they have to put their best "assets" on display. The bouncer's don't care about your boob sis, they let in who the promoter wants and that's it.
A monochromatic moment
4. Wear What Makes You Look and Feel Amazing.
For me that's a bandage dress from the hoe section of fashion nova. I love the feeling of being being snatched. I'm naturally hour glassed so I love to show off my waist to hip ratio. Coming in second is a dress with ruching, and my last go to outfit is a high waist pant and crop top combo.
Bonus Tip: Know your surroundings
Night Club: Be Sexy as shit.
Lounge: Be Cute as Shit
Bar: Where whatever tf you want.
5. If All of Us Are Big Girls, We Can't All Get in.
On my birthday I was with a group of fats, granted we were all different levels of fat. To paint a better picture, My friend's and I range from size 8 to size 20 and we are all 5'5" and below. To get into the club I used the strategy of pairing the biggest fats with the smallest fats and we separated on line. Some of my friends also arrived separately later in the night. In total there were six of us. So if you know you’re going to have a fats night out use a similar strategy to avoid being turned away on line.
Because all black is chic
6. Be Prepare to be Turned Away and For Discrimination.
Some clubs will be straight forward and tell you that you're fat and they are not letting you in. Others will be discreet by making your wait longer in the hopes that you will leave or when on line you will hear the words “Step Aside" to allow other people to come in from behind you. And finally when you ask the bouncer why you're not getting in their response will be, "Not Tonight".
7. Avoid Night Clubs and Lounges When Celebs are Hosting.
On nights like these promoters make sure that the bouncers are super selective at the door because photographer's will be taking photos of everything and everyone all night. They need these images to not only promote the club for future events and but the promoter themselves wants images of "Beautiful People" to strengthen their own resume in the hopes of partnering with other venues.
For the raver
8. Get on List and Always RSVP.
This strengthens your chances of getting in to the club/lounge/rooftop, I'm not saying this solidifies your chances of getting in but it helps.
9. Buy Bottle Service/ a Table/ VIP Section.
I know what you're thinking and it's "who has money for that?". But when you truly do the math for how much it cost at a local club/lounge/rooftop (not franchised) it's actually pretty cheap. Most places have ladies night packages which can consist of everything from free bottles for groups of 6 ladies or more to even discounted prices for groups of women. Take advantage of your girl power.
10. Do Your Research.
Google the place before you go, people are not shy when it comes to leaving reviews about the discrimination they've received at night clubs at all. I tend to stray away from franchised clubs, you know the ones that all of the celebs go to with multiple locations in different cities.
List of my favorite places in Manhattan.
Tao Downtown 💰
One and One
Sweet and Vicious